Run Cherry Run!

It just occurred to me that there goes the old behavior of running away from my fears. That is why untangling my thoughts is taking me so long. Because I'm afraid of what I will realize.

He has always been special to me. I cannot deny that. That is why every time, the action has always been to let him go. I never took that extra step to take me to an extra mile. Maybe, some part of me recognizes the fact that some things really aren't meant to be.

Or maybe, whatever it is only comes from my side of the fence. And some wishful thinking on my part put that false reality that there might be something between us.

Maybe that's it. It has never been put out in the open. There was never a talk about it. We used to talk a lot. But what is happening between us is something we never talked about.

There goes my fear. What really is it? Some kind of a game? We used to be close. But the closer we get, the muddier it becomes. That's why my action is always to let him go. But time and again, we'd find each other talking again.

And now that I'm feeling the old fears creeping in, I can feel my legs preparing itself to run far away again. But every time, I am poised to run, there he'd appear. Unknowing of what Im planning to do. And seeing him when Im about to run far from him is keeping me from taking that first step.